Makes Cinnabon look like a light snack

Well after a week long break, I'm back to entertain. Or inform. Or bore. Look, how you feel about these is your problem (or my gift), all I can do is share something that entertains me.

Got a news bit today about Australia proposing warning labels on foods deemed extreme, such as the monster burger. Sad to say, I hardly consider this news anymore since everyone wants to be decide what everyone else should be eating. But one of the extreme foods mentioned was from KFC. Now I'm interested.

It's called a Double Down and apparently it's already for sale in some locations. It's everything unhealthy made into a vicious attack on the heart. It has Swiss and pepperjack cheese, bacon, colonel's sauce and two (2) fried chicken breasts! I'm fairly certain that colonel's sauce is a spiced mayonnaise and not something pornographic. Well, it may be culinary porn, but that's another issue.

Did you see what's missing on that sammich? Sure there's not a vegetable in sight, but that's how I eat everything at KFC. In what I can only assume is a play to market the DD as Atkin's friendly, there's no bread on it. The only restaurant where you get to put your hands on two breasts and shove your face between them and still get something for the kiddies. I can't imagine how many napkins I'd need while trying to hold onto greasy chicken with a pool of trans fats in the middle. Probably just one for when I'm done. Have to think about the environment.

Still not enough? They're testing the Quadruple Down now. FOUR chicken breasts with a pocket of cheese, bacon and "sauce" between each of them. Since it's physically impossible to eat it as the sandwich they claim it is, I propose they chop it all up and put it on top of a quart of mashed potatoes.

Does this mean we're done with "healthy" grilled chicken there? If so, I'll take a QD with fries. And, of course, a large Diet Pepsi. I'm watching my figure.

It'll only get worse

A little clip from Mr. Show that was way ahead of its time. I imagine this is what the future will be like when the Jeff Dunham/Terry Fator feud reaches its pinnacle.

Um...some language. NSFW.

Really pumped

Just 20 seconds are enough to get my even more psyched for the upcoming JSA eps of Smallville. Well, they're not really eps anymore. The CW's slapping them together for a two hour movie! The news I'd read said we'd get to see only three heroes. This little clip shows bits of two more I hadn't seen mentioned yet!

Hm

My cat, Linus, adopted the basket of blankets by the fireplace on his first day in the house. He'd spend hours sleeping in there, hoping for someone to start a fire where he can get really toasty. A month or so ago, Tig, the old fat cat, took the basket.

Linus hadn't touched it since. I don't know how cats view territory or stuff like that, but he refused to even look inside of it.

He took to the basket again earlier this week. Turns out Jim had washed the blankets in an effort to get rid of the cat hair and that's all Linus needed. It's odd because the other cats will still sleep in his basket (sometimes even if he's already in there), but when a different one's claimed it, the others stay away.

I need to get a hobby or something.

Anyone paying attention?

I'm confused about NBC's green sitcom advertising. So because Al Gore's on 30 Rock it's easier to just say all two hours are somehow related to the environment instead? I don't remember Community mentioning anything even close to green and Parks and Rec was all about hunting, a sport not typically embraced by environmentalists. And on the Office, there was mention of a zero carbon footprint, made by Michael with no plan or, probably, understanding what that even means.

Even worse, did anyone watch the Smirnoff commercials? They all start with two guys "painting" a building. I put it that way, because they're really just spraying paint willy nilly all over the place and some of it accidentally hits the building. Aside from being expensive and wildly inefficient, it's socially irresponsible. Guess it doesn't matter what the subtleties are to a commercial, so long as the bills get paid.

You'd better play with me

So in my Craigslist browsing a couple weeks ago I discovered there was a Monty Python card game and, even better, there was a set for sale nearby. After emailing the guy back and forth, we agreed to meet half way for the exchange, since he was in Boulder.

I emailed him yesterday just to make sure he still had them and was willing to sell. He emailed me back saying he was dropping them off at his dad's house, since that was much closer to me and here's a phone number and a Google Map. I called today to make sure the cards were there and I was told he'd be home about 5:45 with the game and that'd be that.

After driving through miles of rush hour traffic I finally got to his house. Except only his mom was home. She invited me in, told me all about her sons and we sat down and watched pretty much all of Jeopardy. Her husband called and said he was running late so it'd be easier if she met him at the restaurant for supper. Which meant I was meeting him for supper also.

I left work at 4:30 and finally got my hands on the cards about two hours later. Surprised I still made it to the comic store on time, but a lot of traffic had been cleared by then. So after weeks of talking and a lot of waiting, I'd better get some enjoyment out of this game or I'll be really upset.

Not what I would have done

More odd news. A man who's trying to sell his house comes home last Monday and there's a strange car in his garage. He goes inside and sees his furniture has been rearranged, so he does what many of us would do.

He grabs a gun and yells to see if anyone's there. A man comes out upstairs wearing his boxers. The homeowner's boxers.

He claims to own the place and they both threaten to call the police and have the other thrown out. One warning shot later, the real owner is on the phone.

The best part? The guy really figured he could claim ownership if he acted like it was his house. He took a shower. Did a load of laundry. He even put beer in the fridge! My personal favorite? He helped the realtor show the house to potential buyers. Twice.

Thoughts

Just picked up season 8 of Smallville. This makes three different styles of packaging.

Really enjoying Dead Like Me more than I expected. Not crazy how they replaced an odd, but interesting character with a generic slut.

New Super Mario Bros. is a lot of fun. A little more shaking than I like in my Mario games, but it's not that much.

Does anyone ever think it's a good idea to give coupons for free kids meals out to an entire school?

Anyone looking for some slightly used T Shirts? Did a little housecleaning yesterday.

What am I going to do once I get all of the different colored Lantern Corps rings? Wear them all at once like the Mandarin?

Do we have to reboot every movie franchise? As far as I'm concerned, once we dump Lois' kid in the next Superman, we can leave the last one in the series. And while the last FF movie wasn't perfect (The Galactus....cloud?), just keep everyone where they are and write a better movie for next time.

You know what they say about long fingers

A week or two ago I posted a link on FB about how bad driving might be a genetic trait. Continuing with my interest in unusual biologic quirks, there's now evidence that finger length could be related to dick size.

That is, how big of a dick you are.

Androgen contributes to masculine traits, with emphasis on strength and aggression. It also affects finger length. Higher amounts of Androgen will make the 4th finger longer than the 2nd or 3rd ones, even in the womb. Monkeys with higher levels of the hormone act more aggressive and...well...loose.

So now that you've checked your hands, check your guy's or gal's hand. Sure wouldn't hurt to get a little extra intel.

Why I take the elevator

I just have a few requests here, all escalator related. I can't believe I had to put this in writing, but when you get off an escalator, have the decency to get out of the way. See, just because you're done with it, doesn't mean that there aren't 100 people piling up behind you. Clear a path for the rest of us and then stand there and look stupid. It can be a win/win.

In that same vein, yes the escalator will "carry" your luggage for you, but when the ride's over you still have to get it out of the way. I am tired of people who stand there and wait for their bag to get dumped onto the little metal ramp. Really, you can start pulling it before it stands still and becomes just another obstacle. I'm prepared to step on your bags if you want to act like you've never seen it before.

To go along with that, just because it has a handle and wheels doesn't mean you have to pull it. If it weighs less than the average purse, carry it. Normally the wheels are worthless and if it's that light you're much more likely to have no control over it and run over my toes or ding my shins.

Which brings me to my final point (see how they're all linked together?), if you can walk up an escalator, do so. Few things make my day like running a few minutes late and watching the train pull away because I'm behind some lady who can't walk AND carry what appears to be an empty briefcase on wheels. If you really think that the escalator ride is something included in your airfare and is something you really want to savor, than keep to one side so those of us who actually want to go somewhere can do so.

Join us

Here's round two. Once again my blog was deleted as I was typing. Really have to start doing this on Word and then copying and pasting. Hope that works since I can't paste in this half the time either. Anyway, go to this thing. The last live show was good, this one should be better since it'll be made up of all shorts instead of a movie and shorts are what they're best at. Plus you get two free ones just for buying a ticket. And Weird Al's swinging by. If you miss MST3k like I do, go see this the first chance you get. Hit Rifftrax.com for some details or ask me and I'll help. Trust me on this one.

Get imaginative

So I watched Monty Python: The Almost Truth this weekend and I, as you'd expect, found it fascinating. Seems like every few years there's a new documentary on them, so it's almost become its own category. This one's one of the best. There are a lot of interviews with the Pythons and I always prefer ones where their involvement is obvious. I get cranky when it's really just a clip show and someone just tells me what I already know.

I thought it was an interesting decision to dedicate one show of the mini series to each movie. So a casual fan who hasn't seen Life of Brian probably didn't have a lot of interest. And I imagine there were a few people who avoided the Meaning of Life. And while some of them felt like a special feature left of the last release of the film, there was some new material.

I also could have done without some of the other speakers. Maybe some of them are more famous in England than they are here, and some I couldn't figure out why they were famous even after a little Googling. As though we still need convincing that MP influenced some comedians for the last thirty, almost forty, years.

I think my favorite part was during the Life of Brian show, they talked about how they initially wrote the movie about Jesus. After a little while, they realized it wasn't a good idea because Christian or not, His teachings just aren't funny. Take care of the sick and poor, treat others well. Not a lot of humor there. But one bit they lost completely involved a disciple trying to make dinner reservations for the last supper where the host tells them they'll have to wait for a table for 13, but they can get 6 and 7 in right now. He tells them it'll take even longer if they all want to sit on the same side of the table. Funny and pretty harmless, but you know there would have been much more offensive stuff in the movie had they gone that route.

Still, that would have been a great bit.

What happened to Guy Smiley?

Have you seen the Sesame Street video where Oscar the Grouch is a paparazzo and then gets a complaint from a view who says she'll only watch POX news from now on?

More important, do you care?

Assuming this is a dig at FOX news, I still don't get the big deal. Having the show claim you don't have an interest in paparazzi isn't really a slam. Maybe it's because the complainer is an ugly muppet. I'm sure the FOX loyalists are deeply offended by that.

Assuming this is a conspiracy to take down FOX new and finally put Guy Smiley back on the air, I think they're talking to the wrong audience. What little kid knows what paparazzi means? And even if they make the connection to FOX, do you really think they care where their news comes from? When I was watching Sesame Street, I don't recall wanting to watch the news at all, let alone pick the network it was on.

So maybe the little shot wasn't necessary, but I hardly think it did any harm. Now when some anchor on CNN in 30 years accuses a competitive anchor of acting like Oscar the Grouch, then they might have a case.

Did I miss something

What's the big deal about Joe's Crab Shack? Now I'll admit I didn't go as a part of a big gang looking to party or anything like that, but I'm confused why it's such a huge brand.

The food was...ok. No big surprise that when you steam shrimp and potatoes, one of them will be waaaay overcooked when the other's finally ready (guess which). There was nothing special about any of it. Really disappointing when the highlight of the Crab Shack is the sausage.

And I have to at least mention the dancing. Sometimes they play a song and the waitstaff comes out and does, more or less, a line dance. It looks like some sort of torture. I don't think I've ever seen such misery of the face of dancers. Calling them dancers is generous, since it's clear it isn't dancing so much as moving while music is playing, there's clearly no passion or soul behind any of it. Even better, it appeared to me as though when there's a forced dancing ritual going on, nobody's getting served. Maybe they have runners bringing food out, but it looked to me like the whole restaurant stopped to watch the celebration of depression.

I'm not saying I hated it and I'm not saying I'll never go back. I am saying that it isn't on the top of my list of favorite eateries.

More entertainment

So here's another vid I came across today. Looks like someone raided my DVD collection and spent a lot of time looking for rythym and rhyme. Really catchy tune even if the quality is a little sub par. Worth watching more than once.

Just can't get get it right

So I was going to blog about KFC getting in trouble with the UN.

Actually I had finished it when the whole thing was highlighted and then deleted. What's amazing is, I didn't highlight it.

Even more amazing, I didn't type anything to delete it.

And to trump itself, the undo shortcut didn't do anything.

So here's the link. You're on your own now. I'm too pissed to retype the damn thing.

No reassemble

I know it's been talked about for some time, but it made the rounds in the news again and wanted to warn all of you. They're remaking Short Circuit.

You know, I would have let another sequel slide, especially if they brought Guttenburg back, haven't seen him in anything for quite awhile. Ben was a funny character, but a movie about two people who aren't totally familiar with American culture was one too many.

The plot? Robot becomes alive. And becomes friends with a kid who, of course, is from a broken home. I have the feeling I've seen this somewhere before...

And Steve Carr will be directing, so we know it'll be in good hands. After all, he brought us Paul Blart, Are We Done Yet? and Dr. Dolittle 2. I can't imagine there being any problems here.

And finally, let's remember what happens every time a classic is remade. So much computer animation is shoved in there that any charm of the original is nonexistant. This is why I didn't watch the new Herbie movie. When I saw that animated car shake itself dry like a dog, I knew the people who were involved didn't understand the spirit of the original. They just wanted to make a movie about a self aware car, and attaching it to the Herbie franchise is just easiest. I know some think Wall-E is suspiciously similar to Johnny 5. Well if you think that now, wait until you see the new J5, shamelessly ripped off from an homage.

Unless we get better editions of the original movies with deleted scenes and the like, nothing good will come from this.

A perk I can use

Just wanted to tell you all I finally figured out one nice little plus for working at the airport. No, it isn't that I can bring in my own drink and not cough up $4 for a Coke. And it's not the fact we have a holiday almost every other week.

No, it turns out the post office has a sorting facility right on the grounds. This means if I get a Netflix on Tuesday, watch it at home and mail it out on Wednesday, it gets sorted with the Tuesday mail. Bills go out faster, DVDs have a quicker turnaround and I just have to go down an escalator to get to it.

And stamps. Easy access to stamps.

Maybe it's not worth it.

This one might just be me

Is anyone else getting their butt handed to them thanks to one little change in time? It's even more embarrassing to know I'm exhausted after an extra hour of sleep. I hate to think of what'll happen when I lose that.

Seriously, I left Chipotle Sunday afternoon totally wiped out. My arm and hand were so sore I couldn't fall asleep hours later. Not sure if it's from taking some time off and going back to an actual physical job or if I just used that arm too much, since it is my knife hand and the one i use to do the actual scrubbing of dishes. That's also the reason there was no blog yesterday and why I may have cut some discussions short if we were chatting.

This morning I'm pretty sure I only snoozed the alarm about half as many times as it went off. I'm guessing it went off those other times, I'm not sure. And when I saw how dark and dreary it was at quitting time, I considered taking a nap in my office before leaving.

So I'm hoping a few nights of going to bed a little early will help balance me out and return me to only somewhat tired. But with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert tomorrow, I guess that rest will have to wait.