Ponderings

So I'm at this weird stage in a friendship where Malia and I are hanging out once, twice a week, but that's about it. And while we have a good time, I still know very little about her. I know her parents are divorced and at least her dad's remarried and one of them lives around here, but I'm not sure which one. And she has at least a sister.

So while I'm nurturing this relationship, Christmas has come and just about thrown me in a panic. Today I exchanged something I'd already bought her for something I think she'll like a bit more. It wouldn't be a big deal, but I've already done this once and I'd be a little worried if someone I knew was doing this.

Just so you don't think I'm a total neurotic, the first gift was lotions with a teddy bear. I wasn't crazy about it in the first place, 'cause it seemed so generic and a little girlfriendy. Talking with her at my Aecom party, found out she hates vanilla. So I asked her for some ideas and she threw some out there. Lady Gaga CD, socks and a couple other things. The bear goes back and I leave Target with some funky socks and Lady Gaga (I had the clerk double bag that one).

I opened the Sunday ads and saw that pretty much every store has the new season of The Office on sale for a crazy low price. I know whenever we're at Target (which is a lot for some reason) she checks out The Office DVDs. I know she watches it and I assume she's hoping for a good price. So I bring Lady Gaga back and get the latest season. I figure it's better to get 20 episodes of a TV show instead of 10 songs and besides, we both can enjoy this gift. Of course there are socks in there and some candy.

I'm just worried that if I don't get this to her soon, I'll upgrade her gift a dollar at a time until she opens a car or something. Or I get put on some government list for laundering money through the Target guest service desk.

Thoughts

Just a few notes before I head off to bed.

Am I the only one almost looking forward to going back to work? Maybe I just enjoy the repetition of the daily grind, or maybe I'm just tired of having my last few days rearranged over and over again. Either way, it'll be comforting to know what each day will bring.

Feels like every Christmas is the same. Always expecting just...more out of it. And somehow, I always feel like I get less from it. Maybe I've just watched too many Christmas movies.

Not looking forward to New Year's. A week away, I have no plans and for some reason this is eating at me. Didn't bother me the last few years. Maybe the single life is starting to take its toll. For whatever reason, it's the whole weekend/holiday combo that's really bothering me. Like I should REALLY take advantage of it and just can't.

Two Christmases

So this weekend I went to a Christmas party for each of my jobs and just had a few things to share.

Saturday night it was a party for the airport. Technically it wasn't the whole airport, just certain companies hired by DIA. It gets a little weird, so it's just easier to think of it as my DIA Christmas party. Nice little affair. Go to the Comedy Works, get your two drink tickets (which were randomly collected), eat at the buffet, watch the comedian and leave.

I struggled a little bit there just because I work waaaay away from all of those people. I'd seen a few of the faces before and heard the names, but couldn't pick any one of them out. For being a somewhat classy affair, the food service needed some serious help. Glasses of wine were FULL, to the rim and I think Malia got a Coke in a different size glass every refill. The food was ok. The green salad had two salad dressing choices, balsamic vinaigrette or none. Potatoes were either mashed or none at all. The vegetable option was creamed spinach and dessert was turtle cheesecake (no separate plates, so my cheesecake had a balsamic sauce on it). So while the sides were not allergy friendly (nuts on the only dessert choice) or appealing to the masses (creamed spinach?!), the main courses were either chicken or...beef? Couldn't really tell because neither tasted like anything. Seriously. Thankfully, someone got ahold of some salt and pepper shakers, so at least you could taste something. The comedian, I thought, did a great job. Pretty funny and didn't overstay his welcome.

So while it was a well put together party, the whole thing felt a bit sterile. People dividing into the same little cliques they have at the office. While some came to have fun, I think a lot came just to get a little face time in with the boss and make sure everyone knew what great team players they are.

The Chipotle party was the complete opposite. Since the budget for the party was around $None, it was a potluck at our own restaurant. Difficult to relax when you're sitting there watching strangers serve your regulars. One of the first things I noticed was how dressed up everyone was. For being a potluck, my jeans and Christmas T-Shirt weren't cutting the mustard. The second thing I noticed was that I only know a third of these people. Evidently, it was standard practice to bring your spouse and kids...and maybe another member of the family if they wanted.

Then came the gift exchange and that's when I started to understand what a big deal this really was to them. One guy broke out the camcorder and the squealing started. When you gave your gift, they had to come to the front, then you embraced, they showed off the present (with cheering and clapping coming from all sides) and then gave their gift out. And I don't want to offend any of my TJ friends here, but these were the nicest gifts I'd EVER seen in a secret Santa. One lady got a coat and a wallet. Another girl got Broncos gloves, hat and a scarf. I was told there was a $20 limit and I'm pretty sure MOST of the gifts blew that out of the water. And nobody said a word because they all broke the rules, and are already planning on breaking them next year as well.

Going to the parties in that order really made me appreciate the Chipotle part more. Sure it was cheap and borderline tacky, but it was a much more personal and intimate affair. They really care about each other and this was the one time a year they get to actually demonstrate that. You know, there's a reason I just can't leave this place, and I think Sunday I finally started to figure out why.

Christmas on Disc: Shortstravaganza

I know going to see a live telecast doesn't technically involve a disc, but it counts as Christmas viewing so here it is.

So this was the second live show I've seen the RiffTrax guys put on and it really feels like they improved their show. It was all riffing, all the way. This time we expected singing from Weird Al and didn't get it, they were busy riffing. No host looking overwhelmed. They show the contest winner and jump right into it. I'll try to share what I remember.

Started off with Christmas Toyshop. Santa comes to a house and tells the kids a Christmas story about a be-top-hatted spider dog that's killed by toy soldiers. There's a reason it sounds creepy.

Up next is A Visit to Santa (I think that's what it's called). Mubling kids go to sleep and are whisked away by an elf with no pants to Santa's kingdom, which looks an awful lot like someone's living room. The kids stare at dolls for a long time. Then they stare at a train set even longer. The end.

After that, Christmas Rhapsody. A tree talks about how small and lonely it is, then gets cut down, dragged through the woods and decorated up. For some reason, it's happier to be slowly dying indoors than to grow outside.

Then Weird Al comes out to help riff on Three Magic Words, a musical short about pork. Not too Christmassy, but still fits in nicely. Al contributes but isn't made to stand out either, nice balance.

My memory's a bit fuzzy here, but I think it was Christmas Dreams after that. A child throws away a doll for her new dolls, Santa comes and messes with her dreams. Rejected doll comes to life and starts a ruckus with her new toys. The child learns her lesson and loves her old doll. I'm thinking it's because she's scared of what it'll do to her if she doesn't show affection, but take it how you can get it.

Another non-Christmas short is slipped in. I can't remember the name, but it's about swimming. Starts off with a whole bunch of two second clips of people who were supposedly famous, then people swim. The momentum really slowed here for whatever reason. Most laughs were from the film itself since people in the 50's could only bellyflop or swim in what appears to be a panic. For being Olympic champions, they all looked like it was the first time they'd seen water.

And finally, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Not the good one, but a cartoon. Probably the highlight of the night, especially when Santa goes to Rudolph's bed, grabs him by the shoulders and says "I need you." SO creepy that the laughs went on over the next few riffs.

If you've got Thursday night free, catch the encore. It's a shade under two hours long and it's some of their best work yet! A sure thing when it comes on DVD.

Christmas on Disc: Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure

Shit sandwich.

Christmas on Disc: Christmas Cards

Wanting something a little...well...shorter than last night's show, I popped in a holiday classics DVD I'd received for free and watched the first Christmas episode for Taxi.

In this ep, Louie's little brother comes to town and Louie plans to get him to visit their ma and then Nicky takes her back to Vegas for a little vacation. When Nicky, professional gambler, refuses to take her, Louie backs Alex in a poker game, where it all comes down a pot of $4300, an airline ticket, a watch, Tony's shoes, 3 weeks vacation for ma, six meals, a fancy floor show and daily hugs and kisses. Not going to tell you how it ends, but one guy wins and the other loses.

This ends up being like a lot of the others I've watched. There's a loose connection to Christmas, but this story would have been perfectly acceptable in any setting. I did enjoy DeVito playing a sympathetic slime ball, a difficult role I'm sure. It's a good ep. Nothing great, nothing too special. The holiday ties are the only reason one would seek this ep out, and even that's questionable.

I couldn't help but notice there was NO Latka in this ep. Not sure where he would have fit in, but nobody else had anything major going on so he could have blended into the background with the rest of the cast. Anyway, I did a little research and this is the show that Tony Clifton was supposed to guest star in. Evidently, the regulars resented having to wait for a guest star they'd never heard of. Some even took exception to him bringing hookers on the set and trying to make up lines for them. Remember that scene from Man on the Moon? This is where it really happened.

And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, watch Man on the Moon or read an Andy Kaufman biography. He was either brilliant or insane, but either way he was always entertaining.

Christmas on Disc: Ted!

After skipping a post last night (went to see The Princess & the Frog), I'm back with another British entry. Technically, Father Ted is a show about Irish priests in Ireland as written by an Irishman, but it's on the BBC so that settles that.

For whatever reason, a lot of English shows seem to make a Christmas special, sometimes it's out of continuity, sometimes it's a reunion show to tie up loose ends and other times they're just extra long eps with a little Christmas flavor added. Father Ted's Christmas special falls in the latter category.

Fathers Ted and Dougal go shopping for a Christmas present for their housekeeper. While in the huge department store, they get lost in the lingerie section and run into another group of priests. And then another. Fearing scandal, Ted safely leads them away from undergarments and is rewarded with a Golden Cleric. A long forgotten friend shows up just in time for the ceremony, but really just to steal the award.

That's pretty much the whole show. With the exception of the lingerie sequence (borrowing heavily from war movies), the rest of the show is not that great. It's hard to believe this is a special when then story is lamer than nearly every normal episode and there are just a handful of Christmas jokes thrown in to make sure we all know it's a Christmas show. Sure there are funny jokes and situations, but there's nothing special here. Really not worth saving for Christmas and since it's on a separate disc than all of the other episodes, it barely qualifies for a spot in my regular rotation. Only the die hard Ted fans will want to sit through this more than annually. If you're using the holiday as an excuse to expose friends and family to Father Ted, you'll be much better off with Are You Right There Father Ted ("I hear you're a racist now, Father), or really any other ep in the series.

Christmas on Disc: No Words Necessary

Tonight I watched Merry Christmas Mr. Bean and every time I watch it I love it. Hard to summarize, since there's no real plot to the show, but I can tell you some of the standout bits. It starts with Bean in a department store where he plays with the nativity scene. Best part of this, it isn't offensive at all and it just feels like a little kid playing with his toys. Then he conducts the Salvation Army band before finding a Christmas tree. Then we watch him prepare for Christmas Day by hanging stockings up for himself, his teddy bear and a mouse, all of this is after he mails his Christmas cards...to himself. Christmas morning he checks the stockings (his held the match so he could wear Christmas socks) and prepares to make, by my estimate, a 50 pound turkey for him and his girlfriend. After prying the turkey off his head (don't ask), Bean and his lady exchange gifts. Only one is happy.

This is perfect for the whole family to watch after Christmas dinner. Hardly a word is spoken and, let's face it, the appeal of Mr. Bean is that he's just a grown up six year old. Nothing blasphemous, no language, nothing even remotely off color. It really feels like Atkinson just saved up bits that were specific to Christmas until he had enough to do a whole show.

American audiences will recognize the head stuck in a turkey routine from the Bean movie (and EVERY commercial for it showed that scene), except this time it's funny. And while the astute among us will see the bad gift exchange coming a mile away, the second gift Bean gives her is just the icing on that cake.

I can't recommend this enough. If you'll be spending time with any little ones, get your hands on this. If not, then watch it whenever you get the chance. It's a perfect marriage of Christmas themes and Mr. Bean at his finest. My favorite bits, the nativity scene and Bean conducting the band are both in this clip. I'm sure you could find the other pieces to this if you were so inclined.

Christmas on Disc: A Colbert Christmas

Did a little NetFlixing for this one. It's basically everything you expect from Colbert, gimmicky, full of cliches, borderline offensive and a lot of fun. The opening song and dance makes the whole show worthwhile. Insane dancing, special effects so bad they're a joke (literally) and a tune that won't get out of your head.

Past that, it goes the standard way of all variety shows. A plot so thin you can see through it while musical guest after guest stops by for a song. The only real saving grace there is the top caliber of stars he got, Willie Nelson, Elvis Costello, Feist, John Legend and Toby Keith. All big names and while it's apparent some of their hearts just aren't in it (I'm looking at you Toby), others give it all they have (There's a reason Costello's practically a co-star in this). Legend seems to have a terrible time just delivering lines, but it's all soul once the band starts. Truth be told, it's all pre-recorded music, and that makes it even more tragic when I see a bored star on screen sounding bored. Guess it fits.

As you'd expect, Colbert does a lot of shilling and it IS a little strange to watch a DVD where they're advertising for that DVD, but it's all in fun and everyone who's watching knew it was coming.

Past that, there's an Advent calendar, alternate endings and an extra song. My favorite special feature is a video of a yule log, only in this video they throw a stack of books on top to burn every few minutes. Something that'd be great to just sneak into a party and wait for someone to notice.

This is what I'm looking for in a Christmas show. It's all about Christmas and good old fashioned fun. Can't imagine busting this out to watch any other time, but definitely something to watch Christmas Eve.

Christmas on Disc: RiffTrax

Since I'm going to go see their live show next week, I figured I'd get warmed up and watch a little Christmas riffing. So tonight it's Nestor, The Long-Eared Christmas Donkey.

So imagine a depressing Rudolph ripoff and that's pretty much what you've got. I think Nestor is supposed to be so ugly he's cute. It doesn't work. And instead of catchy little songs, it's more like one verse of the same song between scenes. Country music too, to make sure it appeals to a very specific group.

So it goes, 2000 years ago there's this hideous donkey and his mom. Some Roman guards come to take some animals and end up stealing them when they see Nestor's ears. Shafted out of some money, the stable boy throws Nestor out into the winter night. Thankfully, Mama runs out to keep him warm. And she freezes to death overnight, a tired cliche of every Christmas special.

Then Nestor meets a cherub, why not? Once they get close to Bethlehem, the Cherub backs into Heaven and Nestor is put up for sale and nobody buys him again. I don't want to spoil the whole thing, but two certain people come to buy Nestor for a ride to the city. A sandstorm threatens the whole trip, but then Nestor's crazy ears hear angels and his dead mother who all lead him to the city. Since the city's overcrowded it was Nestor's idea to bring them all to a cozy stable. Look it up. Oh, and Santa, the elves and reindeer show up at the end too.

It's not the greatest RT product they've done. It's only Mike and while he's good, he really shines when working off of someone else. Disembaudio is there for some dialogue, but a grating computer voice doesn't provide for a meaningful conversation during a kid's Christmas special.

It's really seasonal, but so depressing that it'd only bring the holiday down. Trying to ripoff Rudolph while making it more religious makes it a poor example of either side of Christmas. Combine that with the overall weaker product and I save this for a night like tonight. Close to Christmas, but absolutely nothing special and even then, I only watch it because it isn't good enough to qualify for regular viewing.

Christmas on Disc: Bang

Sorry I dropped the ball on this one so early. Spent the weekend with a visiting friend so I didn't have a lot of time to watch DVDs and blog.

Of course, that's assuming anyone even noticed.

Anyhow, tonight I watched an ep from the second season of The Big Bang Theory. There are really only two stories in this, but it feels like it'll be difficult to explain. Guess we'll just see what happens.

Penny asks where she can put the Christmas presents she bought for Sheldon and Leonard. This, naturally, panics Sheldon who spends the rest of the show shopping for the ideal gift for her. Eventually he buys an assortment of soap baskets and plans to give her the appropriate one once he's opened his gift and checked its price online. On the other side, Penny starts hanging out with a visiting scientist and doing all the things with him that she never had time to do with Leonard.

I like the setup here, since it appeals to everyone. There's a Christmas story and another segment in the Penny/Leonard saga. The opening is another discussion about Superman (how does he get Kryptonian sweat out of his costume?) that would fit in any ep while the end is the opening of gifts. Won't ruin it for you, but nothing Sheldon could buy would ever match up to what Penny got him.

But for some reason, this just doesn't scream Christmas to me. Maybe it's just my love for the show, but this feels right at place in the DVD rotation any time of the year. I can't imagine saving this just for Christmas. Great show, but no holiday special.

Christmas on Disc: Hooray for Santy Claus!

Today I popped in one of my birthday presents, Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It's somewhat important to me and my ilk because it's the first time some of the group from MST3k reriffed a previous show. So while there are no real skits or songs (The MST ep of the movie gave us A Patrick Swayze Christmas to jumpstart a holiday tradition), all of the jokes are new and some of the movie that was edited to fit into the 90 minute slot has been left in and riffed for the first time.

The movie is awful with terrible acting, cardboard sets and a meandering story, so it's appropriate that I have it twice riffed. To be honest, a RiffTrax of this movie would still be welcome in my collection, so here's hoping. Hard to summarize what the whole thing is about, but Martian children are depressed so some of the adults kidnap Santa. Things happen without anything really happening and then Santa goes back. Oh yeah, and earth kids get kidnapped and returned with him.

But I've never watched this movie for its own sake, but to be torn apart by a group of silhouettes and they completely deliver. Though they may have gotten a little more snarky over the years, the material is still funny, even making reference that some of the CT crew have seen the movie before. My favorite part is when they're showing all of the missiles getting prepared to fire and Frank exclaims, "That reminds me of a giant penis!" and Josh answers, "Uh Frank, we're going to need you to try a little harder." Instead of making a joke, they make a joke about how they're out of appropriate jokes there. Love it.

This is definitely a Christmas show. The whole thing is about Santa and even the little conversation the riffers have before the movie starts is about RSVPing to their mandatory Christmas party. Funny enough for every day viewing, but seasonal enough to leave on while eating your Christmas goose.

Christmas on Disc: Yankee Swap!

Tonight I watched the first Christmas episode of the Office and was reminded how much I love this show. For a long time it was my favorite episode (replaced by The Dinner Party) and it wasn't long before I realized why. It has everything one could want in an episode.

• Toby getting verbally abused.
• Jim getting mushy over Pam.
• Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
• Meredith's drinking problem.
• A glimpse into Creed's personality.
• Michael acting like a jerk and then making up for it.
• Ryan deals with Michael's man crush.

If you haven't seen it, I'll give you the short version. Michael ruins the Secret Santa by buying Ryan a video iPod, going well past the $20 limit. When Michael gets a home knitted oven mitt, he changes it to Yankee Swap, Dirty Santa, White Elephant or whatever your family calls it. Jim's sweet gift for Pam gets stolen and Michael's thrilled to see everyone wants his gift ("It's like a Christmas miracle!"). After everyone is upset by either what they received or who ended with what they bought, the boss goes out and gets 15 bottles of vodka to get his staff of 20 plastered. In an odd Christmas twist, booze makes everything better and they have the Christmas party Michael always wanted.

This ep still makes me laugh. Lots of great lines for holiday and everyday use ("Bunch of wet blankets. Like alcohol ever killed anyone.") plus a few story arcs got advanced. Am I the only one wondering if the Dwight/Kelly thing will ever come up again? It's the perfect episode for anyone who's seen the show and it really is appropriate for the season since the entire show takes place on the day of their Christmas party. If you haven't seen this one, check it out (I'm pretty sure it's on Hulu and other places. If you've already seen it, take a nice snowy night to get reacquainted, it's aged quite well.

Christmas on Disc: Day 1

I figure this would be a good time of the year to drag out all of my old Christmas movies and TV shows since most of them never see the light of a summer day. Figure while I'm doing this, I'd let you all join in on the fun. Or at least read about the fun I'm having.

I started off with Dr. Katz, one of my favorite shows. In the ep titled Office Management, Laura calls in to take a personal day and Ben convinces the doc that this means she's dissatisfied with her job. To help Laura get her groove back, Katz throws an office Christmas party for his office which would be nicer if he had more employees than just Laura.

I'll admit that this one does sneak into my regular rotation, but I tried to watch this one in a festive frame of mind. It wasn't easy because it's not the most Christmassy show I've ever seen. Really, it only mentions Christmas at the end when Laura shows up to the party and immediately tries to abandon ship. Dr. Katz and Ben trying to sing Jingle Bells in a round through the credits is worth watching the whole show for.

Personal highlights for me are the patients, Ray Romano and Carol Leifer, two pretty big names doing some of their better material. Romano talks about going to the mom and pop casinos in Vegas where instead of Keno a waitress comes up to the table and says, "I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10..." Leifer explains why no woman has ever read Playgirl, "If you want to see a naked guy, all you have to do is ask him."

A really good ep, but not worth saving for Christmas Eve with the fireplace going. Watch it any day of the year and if you think they're having a Christmas party just to make things kooky, that makes it all the more interesting.

And if you're playing along at home, tomorrow it'll be the first Christmas ep of the American Office.

Makes Cinnabon look like a light snack

Well after a week long break, I'm back to entertain. Or inform. Or bore. Look, how you feel about these is your problem (or my gift), all I can do is share something that entertains me.

Got a news bit today about Australia proposing warning labels on foods deemed extreme, such as the monster burger. Sad to say, I hardly consider this news anymore since everyone wants to be decide what everyone else should be eating. But one of the extreme foods mentioned was from KFC. Now I'm interested.

It's called a Double Down and apparently it's already for sale in some locations. It's everything unhealthy made into a vicious attack on the heart. It has Swiss and pepperjack cheese, bacon, colonel's sauce and two (2) fried chicken breasts! I'm fairly certain that colonel's sauce is a spiced mayonnaise and not something pornographic. Well, it may be culinary porn, but that's another issue.

Did you see what's missing on that sammich? Sure there's not a vegetable in sight, but that's how I eat everything at KFC. In what I can only assume is a play to market the DD as Atkin's friendly, there's no bread on it. The only restaurant where you get to put your hands on two breasts and shove your face between them and still get something for the kiddies. I can't imagine how many napkins I'd need while trying to hold onto greasy chicken with a pool of trans fats in the middle. Probably just one for when I'm done. Have to think about the environment.

Still not enough? They're testing the Quadruple Down now. FOUR chicken breasts with a pocket of cheese, bacon and "sauce" between each of them. Since it's physically impossible to eat it as the sandwich they claim it is, I propose they chop it all up and put it on top of a quart of mashed potatoes.

Does this mean we're done with "healthy" grilled chicken there? If so, I'll take a QD with fries. And, of course, a large Diet Pepsi. I'm watching my figure.

It'll only get worse

A little clip from Mr. Show that was way ahead of its time. I imagine this is what the future will be like when the Jeff Dunham/Terry Fator feud reaches its pinnacle.

Um...some language. NSFW.

Really pumped

Just 20 seconds are enough to get my even more psyched for the upcoming JSA eps of Smallville. Well, they're not really eps anymore. The CW's slapping them together for a two hour movie! The news I'd read said we'd get to see only three heroes. This little clip shows bits of two more I hadn't seen mentioned yet!

Hm

My cat, Linus, adopted the basket of blankets by the fireplace on his first day in the house. He'd spend hours sleeping in there, hoping for someone to start a fire where he can get really toasty. A month or so ago, Tig, the old fat cat, took the basket.

Linus hadn't touched it since. I don't know how cats view territory or stuff like that, but he refused to even look inside of it.

He took to the basket again earlier this week. Turns out Jim had washed the blankets in an effort to get rid of the cat hair and that's all Linus needed. It's odd because the other cats will still sleep in his basket (sometimes even if he's already in there), but when a different one's claimed it, the others stay away.

I need to get a hobby or something.

Anyone paying attention?

I'm confused about NBC's green sitcom advertising. So because Al Gore's on 30 Rock it's easier to just say all two hours are somehow related to the environment instead? I don't remember Community mentioning anything even close to green and Parks and Rec was all about hunting, a sport not typically embraced by environmentalists. And on the Office, there was mention of a zero carbon footprint, made by Michael with no plan or, probably, understanding what that even means.

Even worse, did anyone watch the Smirnoff commercials? They all start with two guys "painting" a building. I put it that way, because they're really just spraying paint willy nilly all over the place and some of it accidentally hits the building. Aside from being expensive and wildly inefficient, it's socially irresponsible. Guess it doesn't matter what the subtleties are to a commercial, so long as the bills get paid.

You'd better play with me

So in my Craigslist browsing a couple weeks ago I discovered there was a Monty Python card game and, even better, there was a set for sale nearby. After emailing the guy back and forth, we agreed to meet half way for the exchange, since he was in Boulder.

I emailed him yesterday just to make sure he still had them and was willing to sell. He emailed me back saying he was dropping them off at his dad's house, since that was much closer to me and here's a phone number and a Google Map. I called today to make sure the cards were there and I was told he'd be home about 5:45 with the game and that'd be that.

After driving through miles of rush hour traffic I finally got to his house. Except only his mom was home. She invited me in, told me all about her sons and we sat down and watched pretty much all of Jeopardy. Her husband called and said he was running late so it'd be easier if she met him at the restaurant for supper. Which meant I was meeting him for supper also.

I left work at 4:30 and finally got my hands on the cards about two hours later. Surprised I still made it to the comic store on time, but a lot of traffic had been cleared by then. So after weeks of talking and a lot of waiting, I'd better get some enjoyment out of this game or I'll be really upset.

Not what I would have done

More odd news. A man who's trying to sell his house comes home last Monday and there's a strange car in his garage. He goes inside and sees his furniture has been rearranged, so he does what many of us would do.

He grabs a gun and yells to see if anyone's there. A man comes out upstairs wearing his boxers. The homeowner's boxers.

He claims to own the place and they both threaten to call the police and have the other thrown out. One warning shot later, the real owner is on the phone.

The best part? The guy really figured he could claim ownership if he acted like it was his house. He took a shower. Did a load of laundry. He even put beer in the fridge! My personal favorite? He helped the realtor show the house to potential buyers. Twice.

Thoughts

Just picked up season 8 of Smallville. This makes three different styles of packaging.

Really enjoying Dead Like Me more than I expected. Not crazy how they replaced an odd, but interesting character with a generic slut.

New Super Mario Bros. is a lot of fun. A little more shaking than I like in my Mario games, but it's not that much.

Does anyone ever think it's a good idea to give coupons for free kids meals out to an entire school?

Anyone looking for some slightly used T Shirts? Did a little housecleaning yesterday.

What am I going to do once I get all of the different colored Lantern Corps rings? Wear them all at once like the Mandarin?

Do we have to reboot every movie franchise? As far as I'm concerned, once we dump Lois' kid in the next Superman, we can leave the last one in the series. And while the last FF movie wasn't perfect (The Galactus....cloud?), just keep everyone where they are and write a better movie for next time.

You know what they say about long fingers

A week or two ago I posted a link on FB about how bad driving might be a genetic trait. Continuing with my interest in unusual biologic quirks, there's now evidence that finger length could be related to dick size.

That is, how big of a dick you are.

Androgen contributes to masculine traits, with emphasis on strength and aggression. It also affects finger length. Higher amounts of Androgen will make the 4th finger longer than the 2nd or 3rd ones, even in the womb. Monkeys with higher levels of the hormone act more aggressive and...well...loose.

So now that you've checked your hands, check your guy's or gal's hand. Sure wouldn't hurt to get a little extra intel.

Why I take the elevator

I just have a few requests here, all escalator related. I can't believe I had to put this in writing, but when you get off an escalator, have the decency to get out of the way. See, just because you're done with it, doesn't mean that there aren't 100 people piling up behind you. Clear a path for the rest of us and then stand there and look stupid. It can be a win/win.

In that same vein, yes the escalator will "carry" your luggage for you, but when the ride's over you still have to get it out of the way. I am tired of people who stand there and wait for their bag to get dumped onto the little metal ramp. Really, you can start pulling it before it stands still and becomes just another obstacle. I'm prepared to step on your bags if you want to act like you've never seen it before.

To go along with that, just because it has a handle and wheels doesn't mean you have to pull it. If it weighs less than the average purse, carry it. Normally the wheels are worthless and if it's that light you're much more likely to have no control over it and run over my toes or ding my shins.

Which brings me to my final point (see how they're all linked together?), if you can walk up an escalator, do so. Few things make my day like running a few minutes late and watching the train pull away because I'm behind some lady who can't walk AND carry what appears to be an empty briefcase on wheels. If you really think that the escalator ride is something included in your airfare and is something you really want to savor, than keep to one side so those of us who actually want to go somewhere can do so.

Join us

Here's round two. Once again my blog was deleted as I was typing. Really have to start doing this on Word and then copying and pasting. Hope that works since I can't paste in this half the time either. Anyway, go to this thing. The last live show was good, this one should be better since it'll be made up of all shorts instead of a movie and shorts are what they're best at. Plus you get two free ones just for buying a ticket. And Weird Al's swinging by. If you miss MST3k like I do, go see this the first chance you get. Hit Rifftrax.com for some details or ask me and I'll help. Trust me on this one.

Get imaginative

So I watched Monty Python: The Almost Truth this weekend and I, as you'd expect, found it fascinating. Seems like every few years there's a new documentary on them, so it's almost become its own category. This one's one of the best. There are a lot of interviews with the Pythons and I always prefer ones where their involvement is obvious. I get cranky when it's really just a clip show and someone just tells me what I already know.

I thought it was an interesting decision to dedicate one show of the mini series to each movie. So a casual fan who hasn't seen Life of Brian probably didn't have a lot of interest. And I imagine there were a few people who avoided the Meaning of Life. And while some of them felt like a special feature left of the last release of the film, there was some new material.

I also could have done without some of the other speakers. Maybe some of them are more famous in England than they are here, and some I couldn't figure out why they were famous even after a little Googling. As though we still need convincing that MP influenced some comedians for the last thirty, almost forty, years.

I think my favorite part was during the Life of Brian show, they talked about how they initially wrote the movie about Jesus. After a little while, they realized it wasn't a good idea because Christian or not, His teachings just aren't funny. Take care of the sick and poor, treat others well. Not a lot of humor there. But one bit they lost completely involved a disciple trying to make dinner reservations for the last supper where the host tells them they'll have to wait for a table for 13, but they can get 6 and 7 in right now. He tells them it'll take even longer if they all want to sit on the same side of the table. Funny and pretty harmless, but you know there would have been much more offensive stuff in the movie had they gone that route.

Still, that would have been a great bit.

What happened to Guy Smiley?

Have you seen the Sesame Street video where Oscar the Grouch is a paparazzo and then gets a complaint from a view who says she'll only watch POX news from now on?

More important, do you care?

Assuming this is a dig at FOX news, I still don't get the big deal. Having the show claim you don't have an interest in paparazzi isn't really a slam. Maybe it's because the complainer is an ugly muppet. I'm sure the FOX loyalists are deeply offended by that.

Assuming this is a conspiracy to take down FOX new and finally put Guy Smiley back on the air, I think they're talking to the wrong audience. What little kid knows what paparazzi means? And even if they make the connection to FOX, do you really think they care where their news comes from? When I was watching Sesame Street, I don't recall wanting to watch the news at all, let alone pick the network it was on.

So maybe the little shot wasn't necessary, but I hardly think it did any harm. Now when some anchor on CNN in 30 years accuses a competitive anchor of acting like Oscar the Grouch, then they might have a case.

Did I miss something

What's the big deal about Joe's Crab Shack? Now I'll admit I didn't go as a part of a big gang looking to party or anything like that, but I'm confused why it's such a huge brand.

The food was...ok. No big surprise that when you steam shrimp and potatoes, one of them will be waaaay overcooked when the other's finally ready (guess which). There was nothing special about any of it. Really disappointing when the highlight of the Crab Shack is the sausage.

And I have to at least mention the dancing. Sometimes they play a song and the waitstaff comes out and does, more or less, a line dance. It looks like some sort of torture. I don't think I've ever seen such misery of the face of dancers. Calling them dancers is generous, since it's clear it isn't dancing so much as moving while music is playing, there's clearly no passion or soul behind any of it. Even better, it appeared to me as though when there's a forced dancing ritual going on, nobody's getting served. Maybe they have runners bringing food out, but it looked to me like the whole restaurant stopped to watch the celebration of depression.

I'm not saying I hated it and I'm not saying I'll never go back. I am saying that it isn't on the top of my list of favorite eateries.

More entertainment

So here's another vid I came across today. Looks like someone raided my DVD collection and spent a lot of time looking for rythym and rhyme. Really catchy tune even if the quality is a little sub par. Worth watching more than once.

Just can't get get it right

So I was going to blog about KFC getting in trouble with the UN.

Actually I had finished it when the whole thing was highlighted and then deleted. What's amazing is, I didn't highlight it.

Even more amazing, I didn't type anything to delete it.

And to trump itself, the undo shortcut didn't do anything.

So here's the link. You're on your own now. I'm too pissed to retype the damn thing.

No reassemble

I know it's been talked about for some time, but it made the rounds in the news again and wanted to warn all of you. They're remaking Short Circuit.

You know, I would have let another sequel slide, especially if they brought Guttenburg back, haven't seen him in anything for quite awhile. Ben was a funny character, but a movie about two people who aren't totally familiar with American culture was one too many.

The plot? Robot becomes alive. And becomes friends with a kid who, of course, is from a broken home. I have the feeling I've seen this somewhere before...

And Steve Carr will be directing, so we know it'll be in good hands. After all, he brought us Paul Blart, Are We Done Yet? and Dr. Dolittle 2. I can't imagine there being any problems here.

And finally, let's remember what happens every time a classic is remade. So much computer animation is shoved in there that any charm of the original is nonexistant. This is why I didn't watch the new Herbie movie. When I saw that animated car shake itself dry like a dog, I knew the people who were involved didn't understand the spirit of the original. They just wanted to make a movie about a self aware car, and attaching it to the Herbie franchise is just easiest. I know some think Wall-E is suspiciously similar to Johnny 5. Well if you think that now, wait until you see the new J5, shamelessly ripped off from an homage.

Unless we get better editions of the original movies with deleted scenes and the like, nothing good will come from this.

A perk I can use

Just wanted to tell you all I finally figured out one nice little plus for working at the airport. No, it isn't that I can bring in my own drink and not cough up $4 for a Coke. And it's not the fact we have a holiday almost every other week.

No, it turns out the post office has a sorting facility right on the grounds. This means if I get a Netflix on Tuesday, watch it at home and mail it out on Wednesday, it gets sorted with the Tuesday mail. Bills go out faster, DVDs have a quicker turnaround and I just have to go down an escalator to get to it.

And stamps. Easy access to stamps.

Maybe it's not worth it.

This one might just be me

Is anyone else getting their butt handed to them thanks to one little change in time? It's even more embarrassing to know I'm exhausted after an extra hour of sleep. I hate to think of what'll happen when I lose that.

Seriously, I left Chipotle Sunday afternoon totally wiped out. My arm and hand were so sore I couldn't fall asleep hours later. Not sure if it's from taking some time off and going back to an actual physical job or if I just used that arm too much, since it is my knife hand and the one i use to do the actual scrubbing of dishes. That's also the reason there was no blog yesterday and why I may have cut some discussions short if we were chatting.

This morning I'm pretty sure I only snoozed the alarm about half as many times as it went off. I'm guessing it went off those other times, I'm not sure. And when I saw how dark and dreary it was at quitting time, I considered taking a nap in my office before leaving.

So I'm hoping a few nights of going to bed a little early will help balance me out and return me to only somewhat tired. But with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert tomorrow, I guess that rest will have to wait.

Completing the puzzle

Since the government's taken a sudden interest in business (and being open about it), can we pass a couple of useful laws? They're a bit specific, but I think we'll all be better off.

If a company releases a season of a TV show, then they should be required to follow through to the end of the series. I've got half a set of the Bob Newhart Show just sitting there waiting for the other half of the show. Same goes for Green Acres. And who decided to release the first and seventh seasons of The Amazing Race? Why bother?

To go along with that, I want consistency. If you start with thin-paks, then that's what you get until the show's over. Why is the 7th volume of Family Guy different than the rest? After waiting years for the next season of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, not only is it stripped of all extras, but in a different case than all the others. What's to gain from it? I'll allow the exception of changes only if they're made retro-active in the case of packaging and the company allows a trade-in program. I would love to send in my fat Smallville cases for the newer smaller ones, but I'm not coughing up $40 apiece just to save an inch or two on my shelves.

And re-releases need a minimum of 5 years between and new features should be limited to a separate disc or two, available for purchase individually. And newer versions should also contain ALL of the old special features plus whatever they've added. I have two copies of Daredevil because the director's cut, while a better film, is missing a lot of the special features found on the original release. This explains why I have 8 discs for 3 Spider-Man movies.

I know they're in the business to make money, but they've done nothing to sell themselves. I've quit buying TV shows until the whole set is released, I'm tired of being hung up to dry. People will purchase your TV shows when they know they can actually complete the collection. Sadly, that'll take a lot of convincing now.

Nice one

I get a little newsletter every day at DIA with little snippets of airport and airline news. And while it does have some useful information, it seems that AOL has one interesting story which doesn't make the newsletter. This is one story that keeps going much longer than I expected.

So this singer/songwriter gets on a flight with a guitar. When he gets to his destination, he has 2 half guitars. Technically, this is still the guitar he began with, but sometimes the sum of the parts is less than the whole. So what'd he do? He went with the obvious and wrote a song called "United Breaks Guitars." I'm guessing he borrowed someone else's instrument for this.

A year or so later he has to resort to the unthinkable. Hoping the United makes good on its promises of improved customer services, he flew from Nova Scotia to DIA. Actually, everything got here unbroken. Unfortunately, not at the same time. United told him to wait for his luggage. DIA told him to quit waiting and leave. Looks like pessimism was the way to go here, his suitcase eventually showed up a day or two later.

Anyone else amused that one guy keeps getting shafted and that's the same guy who's attained cult status from getting shafted? Now nobody may recognize him and he probably doesn't announce who he is, but when someone's famous for telling people how lousy your company is, wouldn't you keep a lookout? Especially if he has to give his name? So I guess it's good news that United treats everyone equally, celebrity status carries no weight there. Unfortunately, they're all treated equally poorly.

Since it's getting near

I'm ready

Is anyone else pumped for the new Mario Bros. game? Galaxy was a great game, but I still have a soft spot for the old 2d style. I'm just hoping this one isn't too easy. The new 2d game for the DS was a lot of fun, but it was almost impossible to die. Powerups all ove the place and if you didn't have 99 lives, you weren't trying. None of the old games had a lot of cheap shots or anything, but enough that you had to pay attention to what you were doing.

But it does look slick and the very idea of four players at once is enough to get me interested. But with the friends I have, I hope it's more competitive than cooperative. Bad things tend to happen with friendly fire and things like that.

Can't be a coincidence being released that close to Black Friday, but it will make shopping easier for anyone who knows a Wii player. Wiiist? Wiiner? Is there a club I'm missing out on? Need a better group name.

Already!?

Just making sure you all knew the new Trans-Siberian Orchestra album is released Tuesday. Best Buy's Sunday ad and website both list if for just $8 for the double album. Amazon has it even cheaper if you just want to download the MP3s.

I'll be picking it up, but I'm not getting my hopes too high. After all, the longer I waited for this, the more likely I was to be let down. And I'll be honest, Beethoven's Last Night, their last non-Christmas CD, had some good stuff, but it really only worked if you read the book to get the story and listened to the whole thing in a row. A lot of the tunes in that one just don't work in shuffle. Still, I've taken to listening to whole albums at work now, so I should be in a great position for this one. Besides, the stuff I have heard from it is pretty awesome.

Get familiar with it, I'm sure you'll hear a lot of it at the concert next week.

Is it just me, or is this a terrible idea?

Yeah, I'm going to spend a few minutes here talking about musicals. I've seen Phantom of the Opera a few times now, and I'll tell you I enjoy it. The story's excellent, the humor is sparse but perfect and the music will never leave your head. Now how can we tarnish this legacy?

You can always make a movie, but they already did that. The good news is that it didn't bother anybody. Bad news is, it didn't help anyone. Really, it wasn't bad enough to do lasting damage to Webber's reputation.

So in the great tradition of Caddyshack, Webber's giving us a sequel that nobody asked for and the bits he has mentioned ensure that fans of Phantom will leave the auditorium embarrassed for having expected anything worth seeing. Even the title, Love Never Dies, bears no connection to the original show. Probably at the request of the original investors' attorneys.

Here's the short story of the original. Girl loves boy. Monster loves girl. Monster steals girl, then loses her. Angry mob chases monster. It's a story as old as time, but done with such passion that every person who sees it sympathizes with the Phantom and is hoping he gets his happy ending (not like a massage parlor type).

Now it's 10 years later. And the Phantom is either in charge of the music hall or a freak (depending on which article you read) but that isn't important. The show is set in Coney Island. And just like all sitcoms, suddenly the whole cast has left France and is in Brooklyn now. That should be enough to convince anyone that ALW's out of ideas, when you're looking to Laverne & Shirley for inspiration.

Now if this thing turns out to be anything but crap, I'll sit here and tell you I was wrong. In fact, I'd love to tell you I'm wrong and that this thing is a tribute and a necessary piece to what will surely be a Phantom trilogy. But something tells me I'll never have to type that post. It could be that Broadway sequels have never succeeded. And sequels slapped on the end of the success years and years after the original typically feel desperate and are hated and then ignored by fans. Wouldn't be surprised to see it happen here too.

Read the credits

I'm thinking I may have to go see The Box. From the commercials, some guy missing a chunk of his face gives Cameron Diaz a box. She pushes the button and some random person dies while she gets rich. I guess if she doesn't, he doesn't and she doesn't.

While I'm sure there's more to the plot (at least I hope there's more), I'm much more interested in the writer, Richard Matheson.

It's a name you should recognize and if you don't, you have to know some of his work. He wrote the stories they based I Am Legend, Legend of Hell House and What Dreams May Come on. Yeah that's an awkward sentence. Suck it up. He also wrote Duel (think Joyride with less talking and more tension) and all three stories from Trilogy of Terror.

But I first payed attention to him, and so did most of the country, when he wrote for the Twilight Zone. Nightmare at 20,000 Feet ("There's a man on the wing of the plane!"), that's him. He wrote The Invaders, where a country woman is attacked by six inch tall aliens. Matheson's responsible for Little Girl Lost about a girl who falls into the 4th dimension, a clear forerunner to Poltergeist. Remember Night Call, where an old lady keeps getting phone calls from her dead husband? Yup, that's his too. The only person who wrote more TZ eps was Rod himself.

I'm not saying everything he does is gold. I remember reading one story about a guy who had a curse or something on him and a voodoo priestess has sex with him to clear him of it. Lame idea and sad execution. Not enough voodoo for science fiction and not dirty enough for the sex to be important. Just a bad idea all around there. But most of his stories are at least interesting enough to make you finish them in one sitting and I like having a little twist at the end of them. Obviously he does too.

When Hollywood cashes in on something like this, I win. I managed to score the basis for The Box and a lot more other short stories of his in Wal-Mart. Put a picture of the movie poster and the cover and wait for the saps. Doesn't bother me.

The point? I guess I'm telling you to pay attention to the writer whenever you're watching a movie or TV show. How many of you know which actors in the Office are also regular writers of episodes? Did you know that the same person who wrote When Harry Met Sally is also to blame for Bewitched? Follow those odd connections when you get a chance. You never know where you'll end up.

McCancer?

So here's the skinny. When you grill meat or fish, a tiny, tiny amount of PhIP is created. PhIP might cause cancer in humans. We're not totally sure yet and the amount of food eaten would have to be HUGE to get enough to do anything.

What can someone do with this knowledge? Do what any rational person would do. Sue McDonald's.

That's right. Take something than man has been doing since he tired of chewing soggy muscle, combine it with a natural and scientific and blame whoever has the most money. Now I know what you're thinking, Sure McD's has all the money, but they only have a few grilled things and they're awful. What about the BK Lounge? Well they're included too. So blame the money and take a little bit from the guys who are bragging about the grilling.

I'd just like to point out that this is really happening and this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. First off, there's no solid evidence PhIP causes cancer in humans, but that's with a lot of things. I'm starting to wonder if mice and rats aren't cancer prone. Second, it's a natural occurrence! It's not the result of genetically modified chicken or flavor additives or anything. It's the same results we've had since we first set meat down a little too close to the fire. This is like blaming them for the Maillard Reaction that happens whenever anything's cooked.

And third, the biggest crime in my opinion, who is going to McDonald's and ordering the grilled chicken? Have you ever had the misfortune to taste that crap? Aside from being bland, it's dry and stringy and maybe a little healthier, but not worth the sacrifice. Just makes me sad that these people made a bad decision to eat fast food and an even worse decision to eat rubbery chicken with minute amounts of potentially harmful naturally occuring chemicals. I'm rooting for Ronald in this one.

Any questions?

Get a Bic

Now that I've spent the last month or two in an office environment, there's one thing I've noticed that puzzles me. Who are these people who come to meetings or training sessions with absolutely nothing? You're not coming to see a Broadway musical and these aren't spur of the moment occurances. You go to these things to communicate what's going on with your side of the work and learn what the other side is doing.

Clearly, no need to bring anything with you.

Maybe it's because I'm still fairly fresh out of school, but I tend to show up with at least a pen. If nothing else, there's typically a sign up sheet to prove you were actually there. And sometimes I even use it to write things down that I might refer to later. Who is surviving this long in basically any business without a writing tool of some sort? Even better, the odds of people not having a pen seem to get better as the amount of Post It's on their desk increases. Hmmm...

But I do enjoy the smug satisfaction I get when some distinguised silver haired man has to lean over and politely ask to borrow my Family Guy pen.

How many can you eat?

I don't know if this is a local thing or word of mouth advertising or what, but on days football is on TV, McDonald's is selling a pack of 50 nuggets for $10.

This is huge. What's a normal 20 piece run, $9? So for a little more than the cost of a large value meal, you can buy more nuggets than any one person should have at one time. Naturally, I had to order a set on Sunday.

I'm still eating them. McNuggets are my guiltiest pleasure and now I can finally indulge myself. Just the smell brings me back to eating at the South Sioux McD's with my great grandparents. My great grandma could never remember what kind of soda she liked and it was that same restaurant where my great grandpa taught me how to wiggle one ear at a time.

So in a way, they're comfort food to me.

Well they were. I'm still eating the damn things three days later and I've made any bathroom my second home. On the bright side, I'm getting a lot of reading in...

I have to get this off my chest. I'm sick of this Balloon Boy crap. It's pretty clear the father isn't stable and has managed to drag his kids into his delusions of fame, whether they want it or not. I just hope the law throws everything they've got at this family. The time and resources wasted on publicity for a family with nothing to publicize is insane. Give them jail time, fine them for the next 30 years and make sure they're not on my TV again.

And if you are planning something of this magnitude. Don't leave a paper trail and don't keep evidence around that contradicts your story. It'd also help if your accomplices are either too young to talk or at least old enough to keep the story straight. Not sure what makes me more angry, the fact that we wasted so much energy on a pack of purposeless lies or that it was so ineptly executed.

I told you I was freaky

Just wanted to make sure everyone knew that the new Flight of the Conchords album comes out this Tuesday. So while you're in line to get your copy of Transformers 2 (get it at Target, the DVD case "transforms" into Bumblebee), grab this CD too.

I've been looking forward to this for a long time, especially since the last season of the TV show came out months ago. Why wouldn't you put these out at the same time? Save a little on advertising and push a few extra units with all of those stores offering $5 off the pair or something. But noooooooooo.

The only downside to it, that I can see, is they're all songs from the second season and, in my opinion, a little weaker. Sure there are some catchy tunes like Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor (which is about exactly what you'd think) and Friends, but a lot of them are episode and situation specific. Inner City Pressure works great in your iPod lineup. We're Both in Love With a Sexy Lady doesn't quite have the legs to stand.

But there are a lot of good things. Sugalumps is almost a response to Baby Got Back (did you listen to the Coulton cover yet?) and Friends is really catchy and Jim Gaffigan sings along in that one.

I should at least mention they cover quite a bit of styles in this one. Drifting away from the folk roots, there's some reggae, dance and others. Nothing offensive to the ear, but quite a ways away from the previous album. Check out some samples on Amazon. They're probably offering a bundle deal too...

Progress

As some of you know, I'm not one of the green people. I'm not convinced recycling is any better for the environment and I'm not paying extra money for things which are less harmful to the planet. Let's face it, "green" has already jumped the shark and I'm just waiting for one company to realize it.

But I've been convinced by one green product, the new pizza box. Have you seen this yet? It's made from recycled paper and the lid tears apart to form plates and the bottom folds up into a smaller container for leftovers.

I can't believe it took us this long to think of it! I remember gathering with a few friends and eating pizza of the lid, but I never thought of making plates out of it. And the fact it's recyled and recyclable just adds to the value. AND any extra cost will either be swallowed by the company or bump up the price of pizza by a few pennies. So no extra effort and I'm doing something to help a little, which is cool. Just another thing on the long list of things I'd wish I'd thought of.

It only sounds like a commercial

Well it's about time to be burning your Halloween party CD and I thought I'd help you out a little bit. After all, how many times do you need to hear the Monster Mash in one night? (Answer: 3) And when I say, "a little bit" I mean I have one more song to offer. '

The singer is Jonathan Coulton and his song is called "Re Your Brains." I first saw him at the RiffTrax live event I went to a couple months ago and it's one of the songs he sang. You can find the song at http://www.jonathancoulton.com/store/downloads/. Scroll down to Thing a Week Two. Best part is, you can listen to the whole song on the site, in case you don't feel like passing out your credit card information for a buck.

I got a bunch of his stuff with my Zune Pass and I'm loving it. I listened to his Best. Concert. Ever. live album and my first thought when it was over, was to start it again. Been a long time since I wanted to listen to any album twice in a row. And while the live album isn't listed on his site, for some reason, a lot of the songs from it are there for your sampling pleasure. Allow me to recommend a few personal favorites. Just be warned, while the music is normally good and catchy, it's really a disguise for a bunch of nerdy inside jokes. And sometimes bad words.

• Code Monkey - Yeah, from the TV show. It's about being a computer programmer in love. My first exposure to him before I knew who he was.
• Talk with George - Reminds me of Steve Martin's song about his grandmother's advice. Fairly serious, but not bad advice really. AND it's a free download. A musician giving his art away. Didn't think they actually existed.
• Re Your Brains - The whole point of this blog. Nice little zombie sing-a-long mixed in with Office Space type references.
• Baby Got Back - One of his few cover songs. As an acoustic ballad, just like you'd expect.
• When I'm 25 or 64 - Just a mash up, but well done. And since neither songs are his, it's another freebie!
• The Future Soon - Another song he sang at the live event. It's hard to squeeze in ANY reference about the robot uprising in a love song. Even harder making it a turning point in the song.
• Kenisaw Mountain Landis - A folk song. A good song. A free song.
• First of May - Enjoy the beauty of nature. NSFW.

Now go grab the live CD. It has all of these on it plus more!

Laser Flakes

Has anyone heard about the new cornflakes yet? Evidently, Kellogg’s has decided to burn their logo onto the flakes and put a random amount in the box. The best part of this, for me, is the reasoning behind it.

It’s not to make the cereal modern and cool. Lord knows they could use that bit of a boost in a world full of ten flavors and sizes of Rice Krispies and marshmallows of all sorts of colors and shapes. The only cereal actually affected by a laser and the message? They’re real Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.

I didn’t know there was a counterfeiting issue. After all, when I want the real stuff, I get the one with a rooster and an extra $1.50 on the price tag. When I grab a homeless bag of Corn Shavings from the end of the aisle, I’ve accepted that they’re from a different company. Is anyone convinced that Kellogg’s is really making the generic brands too? What’s the point of that? And who’s in such a hurry that he grabs the first bag of golden flakes and doesn’t spare the second it takes to read the brand?

While it’s a cool idea, and a great idea to reinforce a brand name, it’s for all the wrong reasons. Seems like an awful lot of money spent on designing and equipment to help distinguish themselves from competitors inferior in every way. And when the generics start doing this, those people who don’t pay attention are really going to be in trouble.